I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize