where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm like, not good at living.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
