lets start a swedish sibling band together
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
