the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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