this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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