I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
