My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
