you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
