I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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