**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
