he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
