you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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