i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
