I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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