you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
