walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
