he shaved USA in his pubs
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want a musical about memes.
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