if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sober January is a disaster.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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