No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He better not be in your backpack
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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