Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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