But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
