so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
