They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she told me i tasted like america
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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