Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I cannot find my penis.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
