i just had sex bonerless
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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