Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
