i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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