Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
