Buhtt sex?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
