HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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