i need an iv and a liver transplant
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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