tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You are the jesus of drinking
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
