sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
