Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
