All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
