I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
