she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
