Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
