ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
