her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
