May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How's work?
Spinning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
