the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
