belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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