the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
