Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
