If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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