I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
