I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
