Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
