I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
