I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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