i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize