Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I have post one night stand depression
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