Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
