so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize