16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
