He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
